Once you have decided that adoption is the best option for you and your baby, it is important that you inform the father of your decision. Depending on your relationship with the father, this can be a frightening or uncomfortable conversation. To help the conversation proceed smoothly, you should consider the following five tips.
Know the Father's Rights
In cases of adoption, the father has a right to know that they are the father of the child and that the child is being given up for adoption. Because of this, most adoption centers will require the father's consent. If the mother does not know who the father is or the father cannot be found, the adoption may continue after it has been shown that a reasonable search has been made for him. However, there are times when a woman does not have to tell the father about a pregnancy, such as if the father is abusive.
The best way to know the father's rights in your area is to consult with an experienced adoption agency or lawyer. They can let you know whether and when you have to inform the father of your plans to give your baby up for adoption.
Know What Kind of Adoption You Are Seeking
Once you do decide to tell the father about the adoption, it is important that you have as much information about the process as possible. You should be prepared to let the father know whether you are seeking an open adoption or closed adoption. You should provide him with the contact information for your lawyer and the adoption agency you are working with.
If you are still unsure about whether you want to give your baby up for adoption, it may be best to wait to tell the father until you have more information unless his reaction to the idea will be a deciding factor in your overall decision.
Have an Idea of What Type of Involvement You Are Seeking From the Father
In some cases, fathers are required to give financial support to the mother during pregnancy. If this is something you are seeking from the father, you should be prepared to outline what kind of support you are seeking. Additionally, you should let the father know how much you would like him involved in the adoption process. For instance, do you want him to go with you to meetings and participate in the selection of a family or are you looking for him to waive his rights as a father and have little or no say in the adoption process?
The father may not agree with you, but it is important to be prepared to ask for the emotional and physical interactions you desire throughout the adoption process.
Be Prepared For a Variety of Reactions
The father may be angry, upset, confused, or relieved to hear about the adoption. If he is learning about your pregnancy for the first time as well, it can be a lot of information to take in. If you are unsure of how the father will react you may want to tell him in a public place or around people you trust. You should also be prepared to give him time to process the information before proceeding with the adoption.
Consider Having Your Adoption Agency or Lawyer Inform the Father
If you do not have a positive relationship with the father, you may want to let your lawyer or adoption agency inform him of the adoption. This can reduce your stress as well as create proof that the father was informed of his rights.
Informing the father of a pending adoption can be a delicate task. Make sure to follow these five tips to help the conversation go smoothly. Visit an adoption agency for more information.Share